Questions and answers about war toys

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ABOUT WAR TOYS

by Kate Donnelly, War Resisters League



These are ten questions and comments we often hear when speaking about war toys or violence in cartoons. There are no right or wrong answers; these represent one person's opinions.

1. I played with guns as a child and I grew up to be ok.

I answer this comment in three different ways:

a) War toys have changed quantitatively and qualitatively since many of us were children. Kids no longer have just a gun or a few toy soldiers. They own arsenals of weapons backed up with scenarios from cartoons. They show realistic people fighting out good and evil. There is no room for negotiation, cooperation or creative problem solving. Scenarios are often racist and sexist and expose children to incredible violence. Even if your own children don't watch the cartoons they can read about the characters on the packaging of the toys, and they quickly learn is from kids who do watch. When children play with these war toys there is little positive creativity.

b) You may have turned out ok, but our society is extremely violent. Children growing up in a warm loving environment with people who discuss the issues of violence and war may be able to overcome the influence of war toys and cartoons in their lives. Unfortunately we don't live in a society where most kids have that kind of childhood. We need to take societal responsibility for violent behavior.

c) I played with guns as a child too, and I consider myself a good person striving to be nonviolent but there is violence within me that is hard to overcome and a temper that sometimes prevents me from seeing a clear solution. The toys I played with as a child did not encourage ways to resolve conflict in a creative, nonviolent way.

2. If kids don't have guns they'll use their fingers, sticks, bananas, etc. to make guns.

The biggest problem I have with buying war toys is that by buying them we are telling our children that we condone them and therefore condone violence and war a solutions to problems. Just because children will use their fingers doesn't mean we have to provide them with the war toys. I wish my children wouldn't make gestures that replicate guns in any way, but I don't stop them unless it involves fighting.

3. Denying children guns and war toys makes a bid deal out of it and it makes them want them more.

Do we allow our children to put their fingers on a hot stove or in a socket or let them smoke or use cocaine because telling them not to will make them want it more? NO! Because our job as parents and teachers is to raise our children in a safe place, teaching them the morals we believe in. If we believe this includes restricting war toys and cartoons then we say no and explain why. They may rebel, they may want them, but, we can only hope they will end up with the values we believe in. We need not make a big deal about war toys to our children which may make it the forbidden fruit, but simply let them know how we feel and why.

4. War toys provide a catharsis for children's anger.

Giving children war toys does not purge them of violence. It often creates or escalates it. Most children do not repress their anger. They are very up-front about it. We need to give them channels to express their anger in helpful ways. I recommend that people whose children play with war toys try an experiment. Play with your children and their friends for awhile with blocks, balls, puzzles, artwork, etc. After awhile introduce guns, GI Joe, etc. and see if the behavior and play changes.

5. How do you channel kids' anger and aggression without giving them these kinds of outlets?

There are many ways of letting a child be angry or use their aggression without hurting or pretending to hurt others. I believe the best way is to build a child's self-esteem and praise them for positive behavior, get to the root of the anger, and try to help your child use words, cooperate and develop creative ways to solve problems. Also, physical play and exercise helps reduce anger and stress. There are many excellent books that deal with these problems. It is important to understand the stages of development in children to help them understand their own anger and changes due to growth.

6. How do I help my child deal with peer pressure to have war toys and watch violent cartoons?

There is so much peer pressure to have lots of kinds of toys. It is important to help you child have a sense of self-worth as a foundation. Then provide them with alternative experiences and toys that they can share with their friends. Above all, talk with them about their feelings and yours. They should understand why they don't have certain things and understand that possessing things is not a good basis for friendship or popularity. Teach them to think for themselves and share examples of the many great people who have done so throughout history. It's not only peer pressure but pressure from advertisers that children must contend with. This can be used as an opportunity for an economics lesson. Your children should know that the first concern of most toy manufacturers is profit, not good toys.

7. How do you handle guns and war toys at home, in school, and with friends?

We do not allow our children to have guns or war toys at home or in school. Also, we avoid Saturday morning cartoons by doing other things with the kids. We do not restrict our kids from playing with other kids' war toys on their turf, but if we see that it is causing fights, we will try to focus them on something else. Often an adult's attention in creating an alternative is all that's needed.

8. I can understand why you oppose guns but what's wrong with Transformers and toys that change into robots?

Transformers and Gobots turn into robots with guns, not just robots. They transform so they can fight. I have no problem with toys that turn into other toys that are not for fighting and I think toy manufacturers should be encouraged to make such toys; some do. The main problem is these toys are backed up by extremely violent cartoon shows. Gobots has 66 acts of violence per hour. Transformers has 61. Even if they miss the cartoons, they learn about them from other kids and the packaging explains the violent nature of the toys, often in graphic detail.

9. Even if we don't give our children war toys, they still play at war with their fingers or other objects-turned-weapon. How should we handle war play?

Nancy Carlsson-Paige and Diane E. Levin add an important dimension to this debate with their book, "The War Play Dilemma: Balancing Needs and Values in the Early Childhood Classroom." The recommend that, rather than forbid war play, parents and teachers should actively take part in it. Help children develop both the quality of their war play and their political understanding of it. One way to do this is to change the negative war scenario children often mimic from television and interject humanity into the "enemy." Change the play in ways that challenge their stereotypes of war and the enemy. It is important to understand the developmental and political issues children are working on in their war play. Talk to them about their feelings and understandings of weapons and war play outside of the playtime itself.

10. When there are so many serious problems in the world, why focus on children's toys?

People who work on the issue of domestic violence often talk about the need to "break the cycle" of violence. Those who are battered become batterers. I believe that is also true on a societal level. Children who are led to believe that violence is condoned through what they see on television or the toys they are given will have no problem accepting violent solutions to their own and the world's problems. Our struggle for peace and justice in the world is a long one and will not be completed in one generation. Children grow up quickly. They reach draft age and voting age. The become the people who make policy and those who allow policies to be made. If we choose to bring children into this world, we must take responsibility for them. Even if we don't have children of our own, we must remember that they will soon be running our world. Helping children to be peaceful, justice-seeking individuals without prejudice is a full-time job but it cannot be done in a vacuum - we must change society's values as we try to raise our children.